Disturbed
(An investigative, romantic and psychological thriller)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“Its alright Mr.Smaran. I can understand. I already but briefly explained about those incidents to you. Why do you want a confirmation again I don’t know. Yes, those are true. I have such experiences with that Nathaniel and Chuck. I know they were not real but my imagination, but both of them raped me.” And thinking hard I said again. “Not just Nathaniel and Chuck, but I was raped by some unknown person also in my imagination.”
“So your imagining rape experiences were not just limited to Nathaniel and Chuck.”
“You are right Mr.Smaran.” I am feeling terribly shame.
“Are you sure you were not sleeping at that time?”
“I am hundred percent sure that I were not sleeping at that time. They were not at all my dreams.” I am irritating once again.
“What after the said experiences? Any trace that they really happened on you? Proving that they were not just imagination but happened…..”
Why did not he ask all these questions when I briefed him about these in the first meeting?
“No Mr.Smaran. No trace whatsoever. Nothing.” Even in that irritation also I nodded my head vigorously. “I must say they were just my imagination but life-like. I did not feel them like my imagination while they were happening on me. Even now also….” I am saying again after giving a small pause. “I am feeling them as true. They are such life-like.”
“I see.” Smaran nodded his head.
“Now the very important point I want to hear from you and be confirmed by you. That Chuck’s saying something to you ….after that thing and you cannot remember anything of that later and …..his talking sometimes in cell phone with you after you came to India but you cannot remember anything that he has talked….” He is saying clearly to my understanding.
“Yes Mr.Smaran it has happened like that. I am still feeling very much surprise for that.” I am saying. “What you are thinking about these now Mr.Smaran?”
He perched his head up and saying with a serious expression in his face. “I am thinking something but I cannot say any until I probe even more into your matter. As I promised, you come to know about everything by the end of thirty days. Just be relaxed in the meanwhile. And….” He paused.
“Tell me Mr.Smaran. What it is?” once again my mood changed and I started feeling relaxed.
“Don’t feel fear or awkward if such experiences happen again to you. I am thinking that there are chances that you may face such experiences in future also. Anyhow they are just your imaginations and no physical damage to you with them. Why do you worry about?”
“But they are so much embarrassing to me to have.”
“I agree.” Smaran nodded his head. “I do put a stop to all those in future. Just be prepared to suffer for some more days.”
“Thank you Mr.Smaran. I am feeling confidence on you.” I am smiling now. “I am thinking you really can solve my problem.”
“I really can.” There is confidence in his voice. “Unless I do feel confident I don’t say like that.” He is saying again. “Now Miss Dazzle. Please give me the leave. Just share anything that you feel important with Menaka. I forgot to ask. How you are feeling with Menaka?”
“You are absolutely right Mr.Smaran. Menaka proved herself to be a very good company to me. I am enjoying her company a lot.” I am really feeling what I am saying “Thank you for giving me such a good company.”
“I am happy that you are feeling like that.” He got off from the chair. “I shall meet you two or three times before closing your assignment.”
“I welcome you whenever you want to meet me.” I am smiling again.
“What you did about the exercise I asked you to do?”
“What is that? I cannot remember.” I really don’t remember then what Smaran asked me to do.
“I asked you to make a list of those things which you don’t believe even your dad said about them to you.”
“Oh, I remember now. I made a small list in a notebook and that note book is now in my home.” I am saying after a small pause. “But Mr.Smaran, it is indeed a very difficult exercise to me. I am feeling tortured myself thinking about the things I don’t believe even my dad says about them to me.”
“Please continue with that exercise Miss Dazzle. It is very important. Think about the things as much as you can which you don’t believe even your father says them to you. It makes quite easier to me to solve your problem.”
I just cannot understand how that is possible. “Alright. As you are saying so I sure do try once again. I try to make the list as much big as possible.”
“Thank you for honoring my words. Good day.”
Now I am looking at the retreating figure of Smaran.
&&&
George and I are on the bed once again fully naked and I put my naked leg across the body of George. I desperately want to have it fast but with the experience so far I am having with George, I understood it is not going to be so.
“Last time you promised to me to say about your experiences this time.” I said while looking into his face with a smile on my lips. In fact I don’t remember whether he made a promise like that or not before.
“I don’t remember that I made any such promise to you.” he said while trying to remember.
“You did” with a convincing tone I am saying. “Anyhow you have made me tell all about mine. You cannot escape without telling about yours to me.” With a stubborn look in my face I said.
“My experiences are not that much interesting to hear. Better you don’t hear.”
“Nothing doing.” I am still stubborn and put my both hands around his neck. “You must tell. I am not going to leave you without telling me about those experiences.”
“Alright then. My both parents were expired while I was just a small child, six or seven years old. I have grown up in an orphanage.”
I don’t like that. His experiences have started with a very sorrowful note. Did I do a mistake by asking him to tell me about his experiences? Now I cannot ask him to stop.
“I remember I said to you I did it to three women. Women aged seventeen years, thirty years and fifty years. The invitation has come from the women’s side. The initiative was from the women’s side.”
“You were such handsome then also as you are now?” looking into his eyes I am asking him. “Might be. Otherwise why women did choose you like that?”
“Are you thinking I am handsome Dazzle? I never have considered myself so.”
“You are indeed George. Your handsome figure is also one of the reasons for my picking you up.”
George kissed on my both cheeks.
“Go on with your telling. I am so desperate to hear.” While stopping him with my hands I said.
“There was a girl studying in my school cum college. She used to spend most of her time with me. She provided all the necessities to me. On one day she invited me to her home. I went. I was just fifteen years aged and she was seventeen I think. She asked me to do that.”
“My god! You did it to her then?” I am shocked on hearing that. Automatically I am remembering my experience with Nathaniel.
“I did not know fully what it was and how to do it. I felt lot of disgust when she explained how to do that. I did not agree to do that to her then.”
“What happened next?” crooning myself more and more into him I asked.
“She said that she would stop all the help she was providing to me if I don’t do that to her. So I have to oblige. I did that to her what she wanted to be done by me.”
“How you have felt while you were doing that and after it?” I am feeling thrill to hear his answer.
“I must tell you the truth Dazzle. I enjoyed it fully. It was not bad as I have thought about it.” he hissed out heavily.
“The next experience happened while I was studying in the degree college. She was my lecturer aged thirty years or so. She used to show lot of interest in me. Providing me the necessary help whenever I want like explaining the lessons I cannot understand by taking extra time.”
“By then you might have understood her intention because of your first experience.”
“Exactly! But the problem was she was married. On one day she took me to her home and fallen on me kissing all over my face.”
“My god! How you have encountered all that?” I burst into laughter.
“In other circumstances I might have agreed to her desire. But as she was already married, I don’t want to touch her. I clearly made my intention known to her.”
“What she said then?” interest picked in me for listening the rest.
“She was not at all in a mood to hear me. She said her husband was an impotent and begged me to do that to her. Only for once and last. In fact her touch like that aroused me already. So I did it to her. For the first and last time to her. I cut off all my connections with her later on. I have stopped taking any sort of help from her. She tried to continue as usual with me but I did not yield to her pressure at all.”
“You are having a sort of character.” I said admiringly.
“The third time is horrible. After graduation I have to join in a shop for work. I have to go to the shop owner’s home also to help him sometimes. On one day he said while he was taking me to his home that to hear whatever his wife would ask on that day. I thought that it might be some sort of work in that house. After we reached into his home he left me in that and went out. Then his wife asked me to do that. She was probably fifty years old and might have taken a bath one month back. I was shocked and said a firm ‘no’.
‘Did not my husband tell you to do whatever I am going to ask you to do?’ she angrily asked me.
‘I did not think that you do ask this.’ I was also angry. I just could not bear the thought of copulation with her.
‘Then you are not going to get your wages. Moreover I do call all the people around and tell them that you tried to rape me.’
“My god! How horrible!” I am feeling pity on George. “What you did then?”
“What else? I have to do that to her.” there is disgust in his face now also.
“Have you enjoyed that with her also?”
“Not as much as the first two. But I have enjoyed it to some extent.”
“Have you done that to her afterwards?”
“That was the first and last time with her also. After taking the wages I resigned my job with him and went away from there.”
“So for the next two women it was only a one time experience to you.”
“Yes, you are right.”
‘You have done it more than one occasion with the first girl.”
“I must say I have enjoyed it a lot also with her. She was a beautiful girl too.”
“Wonderful!” I exclaimed.
“In fact the relationship between us continued for a long time, until she married.” He hissed out heavily.
“My god! What would have happened if she became pregnant?”
“I cannot say now. But nothing that sort happened.”
“You have gained lot of experience in it in your childhood itself.”
“I must say you are right.” He nodded his head.
“Only those three women in your life.” Looking inquiringly into his eyes I asked.
“Yes, only those three.”
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
