Conflict of Emotions
(The emotional conflict of a girl towards her to be born sibling)
By
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“Mom, just tell me what do you want to say?” still without looking into the face of her mom, Sirisha said irritatingly. She did not even want to guess what her mom intended to talk with her.
“After thinking a lot, your dad and I came to a decision. I am going to have the abortion.”
“Mom..........” Sirisha indeed startled on hearing that and hurriedly looked into the face of her mom and the expression in her face was amicable. She did not expect at all to hear that from her mom then.
“Yes, dear! On thinking deep we also are thinking that it is better doesn’t have it now. Whatever you have said is also true. It is indeed awkward to have pregnancy at this age to me and people do laugh at me. We did not at all expect it now and we just think I never have it. So having an abortion is not going to make any difference in the matter.”
“Thank you mom, thank you very much!” Sirisha got off from the chair she sat, hugged her mom and kissed on her both cheeks. “I know that you have that much love on me and honour my words.” But something in her mom’s face was troubling Sirisha very much. It was quite clear that her mom did not like at all to lose that pregnancy then and it was only because of Sirisha’s persistence.
“Its alright dear! You need not thank me for anything.” Sanjana also got off from the chair, hugged her daughter and kissed on her both cheeks. “Your dad has arranged everything. Coming Friday it is going to happen. As it is not very much advanced, this abortion is not going to be risky.”
“Mom, you really don’t like it, do you?” Sirisha did not want to say like that but could not remain without saying that.
“Oh, stop thinking like that Siri.” Once again Sanjana kissed on the both of cheeks of Sirisha still keeping her hold around her. “Don’t worry about it at all. You just remember one thing! You are the prime concern to us all the time and the love and affection of us on you will be the same forever. Without disturbing yourself with unnecessary thoughts, you just concentrate on your studies. You have to get very good marks in your final exams also.”
“I just do so mom, you need not worry about it.” Sirisha said.
&&&
Surprisingly the happiness in Sirisha did not last long after hearing her mom’s decision so. There was lot of uneasiness and discomfort in her and even though her mom was maintaining an amicable expression in her face, she knew that her mom did not like at all to do that. Her mom has agreed to her abortion only for her. Both their parents have come to the decision to lose their child only because she was demanding it. She was so much wanted to share her views with her friend Chandana but she was out of station and would be back only by the evening of that day.
Sirisha did not know when the science period was over and the next period was mathematics. The whole class was in cacophony and Sirisha also would have participated in some conversation with her classmates or with other activity in that small recess but her mood was not good. She leaned back in the bench, closed her eyes while trying to set her uneasy mood. She opened her eyes and looked at her right side when he felt a hand touch on her right shoulder. It was Mamatha one of her classmates and who was a friend to her and Chandana also.
“Tell me Mamatha? Do you want to share anything with me now?” with the hope that conversation with Mamatha then might get some change in her mood, Sirisha asked.
“Yes, of course! There is something very much important I want to tell to you.” Mamatha’s face was full of happiness. “You have to come to our home today evening. I am giving a party and inviting all my friends. Chandana said she also come back by that time and participate in that. I invited her through phone.”
“You are giving a party but for what?” frowns gathered on the forehead of Sirisha.
“For the naming ceremony of my brother. He has just aged three months and so much cute! You know one thing; it is I who selected the name for him.”
“I just cannot understand! You have that much small brother?” Sirisha became straight on the bench she sat.
“Yes, of course! I have a very little brother now.” Mamatha laughed and the happiness in her was just so then also. “My mom promised me to give me a sibling to play with when I was just three years old but could not fulfil that promise until recently.”
It was just like a whiplash to Sirisha! Mamatha also as much aged as she was and has a little brother like that. But she was not feeling as she was feeling about her incoming sibling and feeling so happy for it! How it has become possible to her?
“Mamatha, if you don’t mind may I ask you a small question?” Sirisha wanted to ask that question with a low voice but she has to talk with her usual range to make it audible to Mamatha because of the cacophony around.
“Just feel free to ask anything I don’t mind.” With an assured expression in her face Mamatha said.
“Are not you feeling odd to have such a small brother? Don’t you feel about how the others feel and talk looking at you both brother and sister with that much age gape?”
“What the bloody hell you are talking?” Mamatha’s face was filled with an instant angry expression. “What’s wrong in that? There are sisters who have brothers with even more age gape. Why anyone would think otherwise as my brother is quite legitimate? In other words why should I care about anyone else once my parents have given birth to him in all proper way?”
“I am sorry. I should not have asked you like that.” Sirisha shocked on seeing the response of Mamatha so. She shocked more for the way she was feeling about her little brother rather than her angry response so.
“I really do mind if you talk like this Sirisha. If you don’t like you may not come at all to the party I am giving. But don’t talk nonsense like this and spoil my mood.” Then she went away angrily from that place.
Sirisha wanted to go after her and say apology but before she did something like that mathematics teacher entered into the classroom. Sirisha postponed her decision to say apology to Mamatha in the small recess between mathematics period and science period but without giving any gape science teacher Saritha entered into the class as soon as mathematics teacher left.
“Sirisha will you meet me in my chamber once this period is over?” looking into the face of Sirisha, Saritha teacher asked. “I want to have some chit-chat with you.”
“Alright madam.” Sirisha said and sat along with all the other classmates once Saritha teacher permitted them to sit.
She could guess why Saritha teacher wanted to talk with her then. She has written the science unit test in the worst way just like all the other exams and only to admonish her, she wanted a session with her. All the other teachers do like Sirisha as she was intelligent and got good marks in all the exams but this science teacher has special interest on her. There was no surprise if Saritha teacher could not tolerate the low marks she has got in her science exam.
&&&
But Sirisha could not meet Saritha teacher on that day as she left for her home on some urgent work immediately after that class. Sirisha relieved a little as the uneasy situation she has to face was postponed but still she was feeling very much unhappy because of the episode that has taken place between her and Mamatha. Even though not as much as Chandana, Mamatha was also a very good friend to her and she did not like to lose friendship with her. Moreover on thinking she understood she really talked in such a way to hurt the feeling of Mamatha. Even in such a situation also Sirisha did not understand how Mamtha could like her little brother like that!
“I am really sorry. I should not have talked like that. Please excuse me.” Sirisha could get the opportunity to meet Mamatha all alone only in the evening.
“I can excuse you on only condition.” With the same serious expression in her face Mamatha said.
“Alright. Tell me. What it is?” Sirisha could guess what that condition was and she did not try to refrain the smile that was forcing onto her lips.
“You must come to the party in the evening.” Mamatha said and put her both hands around Sirisha. “Of course, I hurt a little by way of your talking but I have no anger on you. You and Chandana are very good friends to me always.”
“I sure do come. How do I miss it?” with the same smile on her lips Sirisha said.
When Sirisha said to her mom the purpose behind her going to her friend’s home on the evening of that day, Sanjana suggested her to take a gift. Sanjana was behaving just in usual way with Sirisha after telling her about her decision to get an abortion. Sirisha tried to see some change in the expression of Sanjana when she said about her friend’s little brother but there was no change at all. Rakesh was once again out of station on his business work so Sirisha could not meet him on that day. Sanjana already told Sirisha that her dad would be in the home on Wednesday by the time of her abortion.
Sirisha felt surprise on her friend’s feeling that much with her little brother like that but it did not change her feeling at all towards her incoming sibling. Even though she was feeling little bad in herself, she was feeling happy for the decision ultimately her parents have taken. Mamatha has no aspiration to become a doctor and there may be no problem to her even however many siblings she has. But it was not so in her matter and it was not possible to her parents to bear the expenditure for her medicine studies while looking after the welfare of her sibling also. She did not want to believe what her father said that he would have no problem to look after her doctor studies even with ten children also. Moreover she still did not like to share anything with a sibling whatever she was enjoying.
“He is the gift to my daughter. I promised her to give her a sibling when she was three years old. But I could not give it till now. So I gave the chance to my daughter to name him.” Mamatha’s mom Parimala said.
“My dad also has no objection for my naming him as Vitthal.” Mamatha said and once again there was the same happy smile on her lips.
“How do I object as we gave birth to him only for her?” putting his right hand around her daughter, her dad Niranjan said. “Not just that; it is she who is going to decide everything for him. We just follow her suggestions.”
(I hope that you enjoyed this story upto here. I publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review this story)
