SELF -BEGAINING
I don't think I need to talk about how much importance we give to other do we. It's our life, but we live as per the expectations of society. In fact too many people don't act on their set, goals because they are worried about what people would think of me. What if people laugh at ME? What if I fail and everyone sees me as a failure? (A joke)
Our lives have become a collection of other's rules and judgements. The fear of judgement is rooted so deep in our sociey that before anyone else,we will start judging ourselves.
★ You'll stop worrying what others think about you when you realise how seldom they are.
~ David Foster Wallace
It's quite fascinating, that our biggest enemy and is no one else but us ourselves. Before anyone else, you know what you are and before anyone can, you pass judgements next moment.
based on
- 'what you think people will think of you'. Look around you, no one's judgements are louder than your own in your life.
I TAPESTARY I
I didn't have any friends for almost five months. I had had a huge fight with my then-friends and that left me with no one to hang out with. While my other classmates were having fun with their friends and everyone seemed to have a 'nice group ~I was alone. I did a good job pretending that I was fine in front of my teachers, classmates, and seniors, only I knew that I was alone.
Everyone else thought I was having fun in group projects, preparing for the singing competition, and arranging all these school events. My juniors admired me for that and my classmates were jealous thinking that I was having 'real fun.
• How ironic.
- Do you see the problem here?
Not a single person thought that 'I was lonely'. Yet I was worried. 'What if they think I am lonely?
For a few weeks, I felt sorry for myself. Even though I was having a good time with my friend-like acquaintances, I would find a reason to drag myself down thinking that I was an object of sympathy for everyone.
I realised over time that it's not pathetic to be alone. I realised that we don't hate being alone. We hate to believe that we have been left behind. And that, as I even everyone, learned as a child, Should be considered pathetic.
Well, bulls***!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you don't have enough people to post a cute selfie on the internet with. Stop thinking that you are a weirdo or there is something wrong with you. There is no need to feel lonely or sorry for some dipshit people.
Being alone is a part of life, it's a part of maturity.
Your friends and beasties cannot stay with you for the rest of your life. Life moves pretty fast and everyone is trying to run faster so that they aren't left behind.
Despite this, the simple truth of life is
-people leave, for good or bad and life goes on. Some people will leave for a better job opportunity. while there will be times when you will have to leave people for career growth. And then there will be times when people will get bored of you and they will find another toy to play with. That's how it is (harsh truth)
Can you do something about it? Probably nothing.
But you can do one thing and that is stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop thinking that there is something wrong with you that needs to be fixed.
Stop trying to figure out what you can change in yourself or how you can pretend to look 'perfect'.
The entertainment companies has done a good job of convincing us that being alone means being lonely especially in this digital world where you see everyone on the internet has a club group of friends. Some are going on trips with their friends while some are posting pictures of lovely moments.
I LONELINESS I
Being alone is a part of life. But being lonely means viewing yourself from the lens of nothing. When you look at yourself through the lens of loneliness, you feel insecure and tired out. You start thinking that there is something wrong with you. And that lowers your self-awareness.
-You start treating the time you spend with yourself as a bad thing. That's loneliness and it has nothing to do with you being alone. That just defines what you think of yourself. While I am writing this book, I am all alone.
I don't have any friends not even a single soul I can hang out with. That's not because I am pathetic or a loner, but because I never stayed in any school for longer than four years, so I never had the kind of best friend we see in movies or books. And the ones that I had shifted to another city for college. Where does that leave me?
♠︎ Well, there are two ways to look at it.
On the outside, people might think that I am a loner. I am in my teen era so I should have fun, go to parties, park or having sympathy. Since I don't have any of it, maybe I should take a blanket, wrap it around me, watch websites or listen to sad songs, feeling sorry for myself.
But, how I look at it is that.
-I choose to stay in my hometown because I want to stay focused on my writing career. I am close to my parents and I can share a nice cup of coffee with my mother whenever I like. I can focus on being me rather than trying to adopt the definition of a 'cool boy' and most importantly, I now like being by myself.
When I threw the lens of loneliness and shattered it, I was able to look at my life and the
opportunities around me.
OPPORTUNITIES
Well, it took some time to come to peace with the fact that I am not having fun and I am here all by myself, but once I accepted that, I was able to focus on 'Okay, what next?" I was able to create a lifestyle that I truly enjoy every day, I don't wait for weekends to have fun with friends. I look forward to every day enjoying one more thing having experiences, reading one more book that I always wanted, exploring the unexplored areas of my city and doing whatever I always wanted to do all by myself without anyone's opinion on my choices, without any intervention when I am lost in the pool of my thought and without anyone telling me if my idea of fun matches society's expectations.
In a world where being alone is considered a curse, you should get up and use it to your advantage.
The scary news is, you are on your own now. But the cool news is, you are on your own now.
~Taylor Swift
It's a complete myth that being alone means being lonely.
Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Being alone means you are with yourself.
I recommend you close the book now and take a minute to think about it. Once you also come to peace with the fact that being alone is not a curse, and it can be a good thing, only then read further. (Recomendation)
Will you be able to do everything on your own that you expect people to do for/with you. Shall we?
YOU ARE MOVING TO ANOTHER LEVEL.
TURNING YOUR LONELINESS INTO SOLITUDE
★ Do you ever want to tell someone what's bothering you, but you know it'll start an argument, so you just leave it & let it k!II you inside
If there is anything that can be crueller than death, it's nurturing false hope in your heart just to see them crushing every piece of you at the end. ~ the art if being alone
You must have watched those YouTube videos or maybe read books that encourage you to romanticise your life, haven't you?
Well, I have. To be honest, only by watching those videos do I fall back into my imaginary world where I am the king of the world (at least of my world).
If you start imagining every person who is nice to you as your future buddy, then you are practically digging a graveyard of your hopes. And let me tell you one thing from experience: If there is anything that can be crueller than death, it's nurturing false hope in your heart just to see it crushing every piece of you at the end.
Instead of imagining yourself as the character who needs someone in the first place, imagine yourself as the main character of the movie that is your life.
A movie like your life hasn't been made yet, and a book like your life hasn't been written yet. And that's why you have the creative freedom in your hands to write it as you want, make it as bold and wild as you want, keep it as long as you can, and above all, make it about yourself rather than following an old pattern that doesn't empower you. You don't want to play the role of victim in your life.
You Don't want to ruin you chracter | do you?
PART ONE COMMING SOON.
| ALFHA PRODUCTION HOUSE |
©️ ROHAN MATHUR
