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Failed but not Lost by Bartika Biswas There was a day, I dreamt of being “good”— a good daughter, a good partner, a good friend, and a lot more “good.” Believe me, I did everything— more than I had ever imagined, just to keep those roles as “good.” But they were not happy. They wanted something else. I tried, and sometimes I won. But then— no, they were not happy that time either. Another expectation began installing itself in their heads. Only repeating and repeating— days passed. Then a day suddenly came. Things changed— as if the wheel of fortune took the cruelest turn, or exposed the harsh reality. I spoke— spoke so boldly for the first time in my life. This time, I refused to surrender, to bow my head, or to satisfy them. In a moment, I became their biggest enemy, as if I had done nothing. Their words hit my tiny soul like a sharp sword. I spoke, as if my words could untangle the inner turmoil to them. Tears of grief overwhelmed my body. I could hardly do anything. No— they didn’t come, didn’t understand, didn’t talk to me. I became their unknown face. There began an ongoing inner fight— to be “good” to myself or keep that “good” persona for them. I chose the first! And they became my biggest mentors, They shaped my way - ways of everything. Maybe I failed to them. All my previous efforts became futile. But I was not lost. Maybe, as a true winner to myself— keeping honesty within, wrapped in strength, and being kind to that tiny girl I first met in this universe. 10.03.26.
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